Dazed
by Cezille07
Summary: Married for years, Vanessa never stopped feeling like she had to compete with Phineas for Ferb's attention. After the accident, tragic as it was, she was glad to have her chance...only, the "accident" wasn't all that it seemed.


A/N: The idea for this came from just _sunlight_ in my eyes while I was walking one day. Then the story started forming like "OMG IT HAS TO HAVE FERB." And "OMG IT HAS TO BE VANESSA with him!" But really, the only part of this I actually _planned _to write about was the very first scene...and the rest... Well, it just came out. Let's put it this way: I didn't even realize how dark ALL my stories were until someone pointed it out. Just...go see for yourself what I'm talking about...

Disclaimer: Nothing in this story belongs to me. Not even this overused plot. HAHAHAHA. xD

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**Dazed**

I wheeled him out of the living room, which smelled like a hospital anyway despite the furniture and curtains. He didn't even glance up at me; he just stared blankly ahead, more blankly than normal, if that were possible.

"I know you hate going outside now, but a little sunlight will do you some good," I whispered nervously, parking his wheelchair beside a lone, towering tree amidst acres of grass fields.

Ferb actually winced at the phrase, and I breathed an inward sigh of relief. At least he was still listening to me.

I adjusted my glasses and unrolled a mat next to his wheelchair. I never wore my hair up, but with the wind always blowing it into my eyes, I tied it into a ponytail and took a breath before retrieving a small pocketbook from my jacket pocket. The sun was at the perfectly wrong angle, right in our eyes from where we sat. I wouldn't be able to read much this afternoon...

"Vanessa, can we go back inside now?"

I looked at my husband. Younger than me by six years, he was a forty year-old man who now looked like a stubborn child.

"The doctor says you need to go out more. Sulking in the dark all day isn't helping," I answered. My practiced tone held the patience I didn't really have.

"Oh just tell it to me straight! I'm mentally unstable and everyone thinks that trying to forget the accident will make me feel better! You're all wrong! _Nothing's_ working!" he panted. "It's been years but I still can't remember what it's like to feel good anymore after..."

He broke off, sobbing quietly. Instinctively, I stood up and wrapped him in the sweetest embrace I could muster. We were both tired of pretending things will get better, or in the least...that he could bring Phineas back. He was Ferb, and he could do anything he set his mind to, I believe it. Every ounce of him screams talent, which was honed through decades of unbelievable projects with his beloved little brother. Phineas' departure was of course the most devastating thing he had been through. I don't have siblings, but...I just see the pain in his eyes... The night of the accident, I was first to arrive at the hospital. Despite his shock, he had managed to reconstruct the fateful bomb from minute shrapnels of burnt matter, and proceeded to creating a gum-powered tracker for the DNA he gathered from the bomb. Ferb used to be so amazing. Phineas was a black hole of ideas, and Ferb was everything else. Over the years, while the two of us developed a romantic relationship, I watched him pining for that redhead I couldn't measure up to. I was his loving girlfriend, later his very loving wife. That made me come only second on the list of people he loved.

Quite against my will, I left the mat and my book on the unkempt grass and pushed his wheelchair back towards our empty house. He was looking at his useless legs. I squeezed his shoulder with one hand; he finally looked up at me, and I smiled back. Never mind that the look was blank and absent. He looked at me anyway, and it should've been enough.

I should've been his constant companion. I should've been less focused on busting my dad, or on that less worthy Johnny. The should-have's crossed my mind, then faded. Ferb was mine now, _all_ mine, and not mine at the same time. All mine, his burden and his heavy heart.

I had _exactly_ these same feelings when first I realized I was in love with him. He had eyes for me too, and what girl wouldn't be impressed by his refined skill and manner? Only Phineas and his extraordinary and beneficial projects got in the way. At first I endured 'sharing' him, but that strategy wasn't effective for long. On one of our anniversaries, he missed our date to seal a giant fault line in Danville. I hiked out of our dream-house with explosives and gasoline, the choice weapon of amateurs who didn't know how to murder—on my Dad's advice: he was definitely an expert when it comes to petty grudges. I found Phineas and Isabella's apartment and, in a streak of mad hysteria, dipped a lit dynamite stick in a bucket gasoline and threw those into their kitchen window. I didn't know Ferb was there too, only heard him scream, "PHINEAS!" right before Isabella jumped out of a window with a soot-blackened but healthy infant. I watched them burn from across the ghostly street with a glum smile on my face. Ferb emerged much later, through a second floor window, carrying an unrecognizable body—and he did exactly what I predicted he'd do: He jumped to save Phineas, jumped into the lawn where a concrete pit of his brother's inventions grandly stood for public admiration. He broke a hip and paralyzed his lower body to save someone who was already _dead_ from experiencing the power of TNT and having modern rubble crash down on him.

"Vanessa?"

I looked up, realizing we were outside the front door, motionless for all of five minutes. Ferb's very focused eyes were locked on my dazed ones.

"I'm sorry, honey," I smiled. I ruffled his graying hair and kissed his cheek. He was the most adorable man I'll ever lay eyes on. Lonely forever, but forever _mine_. "I love you, Ferb."

He looked away. His turn to be pensive. But then again, when isn't he? He paused, calculating the level of emotion and commitment he'd add to his next statement. "You too, Vanessa."

**-END-**

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(A/N: An implication of the last line: Ferb knows the _truth_. ;D )


End file.
